Quirky Dining Explorer Pillows

'This place hasn't been the same since violinist left.'

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

French Early Bird

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Platter confusion.

Cheese Secret

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Give him his food."

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

Fast Food Restaurant

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Our Troubled Chowders

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Chernobyl Chow

Salad Hat

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"And the insect du-jour, is that served in the soup or on the side?"

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

Woman finds something in her soup.

"And for your entree, sir?"

'Killing two birds with one stone...bacon coffee.'

"Start Sucking!"

Spaceman serving shrimp.

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Just because I'm a doctor without borders doesn't mean I venture into menus without prices.'

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

Minnesota State Fair.

"Have you folks eaten here before, or shall I explain the concept?"