Quirky Cuisine Fan Gifts

Diner: Chili $3.95 and Chili By-Products $1.50.

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Tzatzikicicle

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Kentucky Fried Horse

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Roadkill Restaurant

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Our Troubled Chowders

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

Octopi a la mode.

Fast Food Restaurant

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

Eye of Newt Helper

Salad Hat

"And the insect du-jour, is that served in the soup or on the side?"

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles