Quirky Cousin Pillows

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

"Better luck next time, kid."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'More hair than brains.'

'I think there's been some mistake...'

Giraffe Selfie

Penguin Remote

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

Why cat yoga classes don't work

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Look! There's Santa!'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses