Quirky Cousin Pillows

Salvador Dali's cats.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Giraffe Selfie

Penguin Remote

'More hair than brains.'

'I think there's been some mistake...'

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

Why cat yoga classes don't work

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Look! There's Santa!'