Quirky Conversation Starter Gifts

"Yipes! Grownups!!"

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

Lotsa Ducks.

What makes you think people don't respect you, jerk?

'On your personals ad, you say you're a butcher...that's fascinating. Tell me about that...'

Singles Bar - "Yes I'm a dog but I've got a great personality."

"I wasn't responsible for those sins."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

"And one last question, why do fools fall in love?"

'I think the customers don't like my because sometimes I seem to be a bit strange. My dog says so, too.'

'Is he expecting you?'

Female impersonator in phone booth.

Final Analysis.

What would be your least favourite way to die? - 'Drowning I guess.' - 'Good... good.' - '' - 'Why couldn't he jsut say 'happy birthday', like everybody else?' - '' -

'I'll show you my etchings if you show me your piercings.'

'Can you wait a minute while I clean off the couch? -- I just had a leather fetishist in here.'

"Joke's on her, I don't have a roommate."

''Lousy tip?' Hey, thanks to your salary, you can't afford dangerous things like fast cars, booze or risky kinds of sport! you better be grateful!'

'Dude? I thought you liked homos...If liberals are against it, then I'm for it!!!...Yes to GAY MARRIAGE!'

"Ibuprofen, heat and no air-quoting for two weeks."

"If an outsider can't use your bathroom, can I please have a spare urine specimen jar?"

"I'm so glad we had the fish."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"... Yes. And I'm wearing a mask, so what's the problem?!"

"Whoa! Well excuse me - some of us are still social distancing!"

"Crazy busy—you?"

'Please don't sit there. I don't want to suffer the effects of passive baldness.'

"The hard part was pulling my head off the wall and reattaching it to my body."

"Personally, I like the 'Times' in color."

"Their house is full of shit and feathers just like the rest of us."

"You might have seen Judy's uterus on a recent PBS special."

"I happen."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

You're nuts, Al. But enough already with the sugarcoating