Quirky Conversation Lovers T-Shirts

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

'Don, I've got a confession to make - I didn't like you one bit when we met.'

'If that's a woman wanting to know what you're wearing, it's for me, despite the fact that your're naked.'

'No hot water? That's OK. I only take cold showers.'

'I don't think there's much more I can help you with, Mr. Krebbs...unless, of course, you want to talk about the bag thing.'

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Protest

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'Mom can I have another apple?'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."