Quirky Conversation Fans T-Shirts

By the way, who does your hair? A phrenology-school dropout with a drinking problem.

Sheep In Curlers

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

The social isolation of the entomologist...

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

"Can we cut across the park and avoid Colony Lane? There are three squirrels in an oak tree I’d like to avoid."

'Just think about it. . . Australia is home to over 800,000 unique species, but you're still, by far, the absolute lamest.'

"Yes, crazy does sometimes beat sane... but rarely during a job interview."

Ringing horn

I must say your enormous soda beguiles me.

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

'Yes, they are all my own teeth, it's my head that's false...'

Ant is banished for playing the bagpipes.

I knew that guy was bad news.

Dog & Cat Friends.

Cleaner in a theatre uses a cello to pick up litter.

I'm feeling a bit sluggish to tell you the truth!

'I daren't take my hat off - If I do, the voices in my head might escape!'

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

"Going anywhere nice this weekend?"

Lance, I said if it's for me, I'm not here. It's not for you, it's for me. I'm not here, either.