Quirky Dialogue Fan T-Shirts

"Can we cut across the park and avoid Colony Lane? There are three squirrels in an oak tree I’d like to avoid."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

-"What has this got to do with communication?" -"It's my invention...the hand smiley."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

A woman drags a cat who drags a mouse toy.

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

"No, it's not my birthday, either."

'First you come down, then we talk.'

"I knew it was just a matter of time before the sheep hit the fan."

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

'Don't keep going on about your cold paws - I've got my own problem!'

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'That's curious, Mr Van Der Pummen...up to question 2084 you seem entirely normal, but then after 2085 you suddenly go to pieces!'

Thank you! That paper almost hit me in the head. The old saying is true ... Good fencers make good neighbors!

I must say your enormous soda beguiles me.

'Oh, it's not that I don't like humans, it's just my allergies.'

'Good evening! The debate continues over the idea of horse whisperers...'

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

Do you think the moon is real? Well

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

'Meet Regan the vegan, Ray the gay and Tommie the commie.'

'The rule is that you should never eat more than you can lift, and you're not allowed to use a pulley.'

"Going anywhere nice this weekend?"

'What's up with the milk?'

'I wouldn't say I'm apathetic, I just don't give a hoot.'

A conversation between two street urchins.