Quirky Competitors Mugs

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

Skateboard Olympics.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."

100m Flies Race: Entomological Olympiad.

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Tug the Toggle

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

Umbrella fight.

Who said, women are no-good at boxing?

Strange Wrestling

"All As. What did you get?"

Space Hopper Rodeo

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."