Quirky Communication Appreciator Gifts

A chemist misunderstanding the request of a lady after a way to clean gloves.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I speak Latin, you know."

'Modern romance'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

~ S.O.S.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'How are we spelling Dear?'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

"It's not a sexual thing - I just enjoy dressing up in sheep's clothing."

'She lithpth!'

People talking through a stethoscope.

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

"Try to smile a bit louder."

"I was rather hoping you'd be using incisive rebuttals based on an eclectic knowledge of the subject area!"

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."

"Yes I did want out contract design to be more progressive and visual, but this is a little too progressive."

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

"Are you binge watching again?"

"This is the right side of the brain calling the left side of the brain. Come in, left side..."

"We've got a vacancy for a church mouse, if you're interested?"

"Miss Holder, in the future, please refrain from using hearts in the place of dots."

"Weather"? What's "weather"?