Quirky Clotheshorse Gifts

"I wouldn't mind going for a bike ride,but I don't have any clothes that look stupid enough."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Great British Eccentrics.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

'Good book?'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

'Wow - My kind of man.'

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

Bird in sunglasses balancing on a stick.

Discus accidents.

Curling Rocks!

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

Louse and garden...

'Perfect - as Sir will know, the fashion is for the looser suit this year...'

'The sleeves are short and the pants are baggy.' - 'It's really you sir.'

Gigolo Diary

'... And this is the home gym, where we hang all our clothes.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

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