Quirky Baptism Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"D'you have sparkling?"

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

'This church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, and twenties. . .'

"Sorry, I left my credit cards at home!"

"He promised to get a job when he get parole - so he's seeing how to get into the church."

"It's just a precaution, we've had a few close calls lately."

A bride and groom riding a giant fish

"Your deadliest sin was cheating at church bingo."

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

The pope.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Thou shalt make room for donuts...it's a new commandment for the Church of Danae.'

"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."

A priest is about to christen a baby with a bottle of champagne.

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

Conrad Grebel (Anabaptism)

"Cutting edge stuff, Mrs Bellamy - Cordless Bell Ringing."