Quirky Abode Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Well, what do you think?!'

Cake Free Zone

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Rogue elephant

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Snow globe

Carnations.

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

Shoe house.

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"Butt cracker"

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

Arrow Church

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"Interesting story behind this one..."

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

Have you seen this toaster?

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

WInter Fish