Quirky Home Design Aficionado T-Shirts

'That's my loft ladder.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Cake Free Zone

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Rogue elephant

His & hers towels.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

Snow globe

'I told you I didn't want to talk about it!'

Superintendent

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Carnations.

Shoe house.

Arctic Snails.

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Arrow Church

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

"Butt cracker"

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

"Are you willing to relocate?"

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

"No, this is the elephant."

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

'Justin, what did I say about storing your anteater there?'