Quirks T-Shirts

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

"I mean, I believe that you are odd. You certainly qualify for oddness. But that may not be enough. It's a very tough world out there."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Best before 65 million BC.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Real Estate Personals

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

What's Their Secret?

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."