Quiet Crusader Gifts

'Not while I am the librarian.'

Noise Pollution Prevention.

Noise Abatement Society

Large Print Librarian.

Noise abatement society - Hush.

"Noise canceling headphones? Aisle 6."

"Very good! Let's try it again. . . this time a little more assertively!"

"I subscribed to my librarian's twitter feed, but the only thing she ever tweets me is 'shhhhh!'"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Hush puppy.

Crowded Ice Fishing

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Chess on TV

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

Relaxation Technique

Calm in the Face of Chaos

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"Is something bothering you?"

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

It is the primitive joy of hunting wild creatures.

'I said you can't touch me - it's my religion.'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

'Nice job, Harold, you finally found me a nice quiet nesting place.'

'Okay, you can see him now. But you must promise not to wake him.'

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

It's so quiet here, now that the goldfish is gone.

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'