Quiet Carriage Aficionado Gifts

"Would passengers sitting in the Quiet Zone please...Shut the F**K UP!"

Club Antisocial

Hush puppy.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

"Why, I think he's trying to impress you."

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

Giant Ice Skates

Tom Pinch Starts Homeward with the New Pupil

Working from Om

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

"Is something bothering you?"

"e-Harley Hybrids"

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

Go away

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

"Hey, Eli, would you and your little friend mind getting as far away from me as humanly possible?"

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

Desert Island: 'Offer Lessons of Meditation.'

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

Free Little Library

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. you know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

FE. I understand they're librarians. SHH.