Queuing Humor Lover Gifts

'Wait a minute...did you just cut in line?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Astral Projection

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Fresh pepper?"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

He wanted a different one.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'Can I have flies with that'

So You've Cloned Yourself

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Toenail clipping missile.

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

Clearing the castle's moat.