Queue Dodger Pillows

"I can't wait that long."

Sorry out of numbers.

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

"The sigh read, 'Take A Number And Wait.' It didn't specify where I should wait."

"It took me 15 minutes to shop, and thanks to only one cash register being open, it took me 20 minutes to check out. No wonder why people like shopping online."

"Tell me about online banking again. I'm not good at technology, but it's got to be less stressful than this."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

'You're going to have to find a way of avoiding those fast serves!'

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

"No, I'm not going to work. I sent my computer to work for me. The screen has a photo of my face, so people will think it's me."

'That's it, Darlene -- conserve your energy for the final lap! Stay right in her draft!'

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"Maybe we should reschedule. It's bark-to-bark up here and Waze says it's forty minutes to the lazy river."