Queen's Guard T-Shirts

The Fat Soldier.

Dignity and Impudence.

The Bearskin Hat Family

"He likes it."

dog vs UFO...

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'I'm a guard dog too.'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

Beefeater

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

Sabrage

Limbo Day at the Palace

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

Bashful Royal Guard

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

A guardsman is embarrassed when the wind reveals his bearskin hat is doubling as a 'comb over'.

"Son, that's a nasty looking hairy mole growing on top of your head."

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

"All it says is 'DON'T WALK.' When you think about it, that still leaves a world of possibilities, Baby!"

Little deers