Quartet Crooner Pillows

'How about some barber shop harmony?'

Four children playing the flute.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

'Confirming the belief that music and math are related, I will now sing some lovely French equations.'

Barber shop quartet

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

Music from the moon.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Guarneri Feline Quartet.

Rhinestone Accountant

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

Banjo Player

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

String Quartet Vending Machine

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

'You honor, I'd like to tell my client's life story with the accompaniment of a string quartet.'

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

'I'd like to teach the world to sting.'

Bobby Biddle, world's worst country singer.

Pianissimo - (to sing very softly).

Singing is everyone's shower rights.