Quant Wizard Gifts

"The economic modeling of our economic modeling suggests we need to remodel."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Calculation Board - You Are Here

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

The Shrinking Dollar.

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"