Quality Equipment Seeker Gifts

"Personally, I like to play wth a decent golfer"

Quality Control

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

'You're not quite what we had in mind.'

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"...We don't trust any restaurant that has room for us."

Quality Control

Think Zero Defects

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

'Yes,we do have a small tractor that you don't have to pay a big-tractor price for.'

"Shredder broken again?"

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Inspected by Inspector #12

Lightbulb Maker

"Who'd want to Retire...what would you do with your time?...Apart from spend time with your kids...see all those places you always promised you would...be the person you want to be...have a life!"

Robots/inspected.

'Being able to 'Raise the Dead' is all very well but I'm afraid it's not much use without the appropriate qualifications.'

Time Saving Machinery

'That sneeze bid in a used bull-dozer!'

"I guess I could still hand and hunt."

'I think I've isolated where that scraping noise is coming from.'

'I just retired from politics to spend more time with my children -- are you my children?'

Inspectors #2 and #3 inspect clothing.

Recall notice

Custom Construction Work, Unbelievable Quality.

"Please let me through, gentlemen. I'm a dental hygienist."

"It's for my mother. Just wrap it in an envelope with return postage."