Quality Equipment Seeker Gifts

"Personally, I like to play wth a decent golfer"

Quality Control

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"...We don't trust any restaurant that has room for us."

'You're not quite what we had in mind.'

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

Quality Control

Think Zero Defects

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

'Yes,we do have a small tractor that you don't have to pay a big-tractor price for.'

"Shredder broken again?"

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Inspected by Inspector #12

Lightbulb Maker

"These instructions are useless. Keep up the good work."

"Who'd want to Retire...what would you do with your time?...Apart from spend time with your kids...see all those places you always promised you would...be the person you want to be...have a life!"

Robots/inspected.

'I just retired from politics to spend more time with my children -- are you my children?'

'I think I've isolated where that scraping noise is coming from.'

'Being able to 'Raise the Dead' is all very well but I'm afraid it's not much use without the appropriate qualifications.'

"I guess I could still hand and hunt."

'That sneeze bid in a used bull-dozer!'

Time Saving Machinery

Recall notice

Inspectors #2 and #3 inspect clothing.

Custom Construction Work, Unbelievable Quality.

"Please let me through, gentlemen. I'm a dental hygienist."