Qualitative Analyst Gifts

"This is Mr Smith, he's head of our Qualitative Department."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

The Life of Pi

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Think Tank

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Six Thinking Hats