Purveyor Of Humor Pillows

The New Yorker Book of Cartoons that No One Can Understand

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Trump! The Musical

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

Glance Exchange

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."