Purring Preachers Pillows

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Night-time halo

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Thou Shalt Not!

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

Dogma

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

Christian and Born again Christian...

The ecumenical dinner party.

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."