Purr-fect Therapist Pillows

"Your next life will be so much better."

Cats on the couch.

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"I hate it..."

Cats

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Extra Absorbent Kitty Litter.

'We know you have a cat...'

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

There had always been three in the relationship...

Cat's Valentine

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

Who am I kidding?

'As we all know your deceased Anna Clara was a devoted cat lover...'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

'I've had four litters and I don't get as much as a head butt on Mothers Day.'

'I thought shaving would make me look sexy. Now I just bump into things.'

When cats bring gifts.

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

'Oh yes, the market may fall, but trust me, we always land on our feet.'

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

Cat Lady

'Please, Pookie, just one time...pleeaase..Beg!'

catholic

'Dad, Grandma had a funeral, right? Will the cat have a FURneral, then?'

"Dead rats, dead birds, dead skinks, I've tried all kinds of gifts, but there's no pleasing my mistress really..."

101 uses of a dead cat: armchair

I love my cat.

"There! See? She rolled her eyes at me."

'Look, no matter what happens, if anybody asks, I was here with you the whole night.'

"I swear, it wasn't me who called the council about your incessant barking: it was my master!"