Purr-fect Pal Pillows

"I need a peace offering for my human. What's your take? Dead bird of half eaten rat?"

I love my cat.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Cats on the couch.

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

Cats

"I hate it..."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'I'm sorry, but the position of Contentment Provider has been filled.'

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

Persian

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

'We know you have a cat...'

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

There had always been three in the relationship...

Cat's Valentine

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

'As we all know your deceased Anna Clara was a devoted cat lover...'

'I've had four litters and I don't get as much as a head butt on Mothers Day.'

When cats bring gifts.

'I thought shaving would make me look sexy. Now I just bump into things.'

"Your next life will be so much better."

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

"Oh, yeah! A little to the right. . . down a bit. . . Ahhh!"

"The meaning of "crazy"? Well, it means "kind and caring" of course, like in the expression "crazy cat lady"..."

Cat Lady

Kitty's Clock, each hour marked by a cat's face and the reminders, 'Scratch me, Brush me, Feed me, Play with me, Look at me, Pet me, Find me, Talk to me, Feed me, Rub me, Hold me.'

"Dead rats, dead birds, dead skinks, I've tried all kinds of gifts, but there's no pleasing my mistress really..."

101 uses of a dead cat: armchair

"I swear, it wasn't me who called the council about your incessant barking: it was my master!"

'Look, no matter what happens, if anybody asks, I was here with you the whole night.'