Puppy Style Pundit Pillows

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Balloon dog training

"Bruno, sit."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"Do you think Papi will let us have a puppy?"

'No, I said 'sit'.'

"Serves you right for licking it!"

Chasebook for Dogs

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

'I'm still trying to decide if I should join the workforce or get my masters in staying.'

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.

Dog dictionary/Dog Alphabet.

"MBA or not, get a haircut and cover up the tattoos."

'Master corrected me with a newspaper... the Sunday Edition.'

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to dress myself."

"Doggie treats are just another way for humans to control us and steal our freedom."

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat whenever I lay real still.'

'Just ignore him - he's threatened to run away before.'

Regarding Dolly our Daschund, that's about the long and short of it!

'I'm for any extreme makeover that doesn't include the word FIX.'

'My first name is 'sit' and my last name is 'stay'.'

"I know it's pricey, but I think going back to the old food is probably a good

'People think puppy love is so cute. But you never hear a word about puppy divorce.'

"Oh, she hears the bark, but all the nuance goes right over her head."

'It argues that we dogs are happier when our freedom is limited, and I think I agree with that.'