Puppy Raising Pillows

"My advice is to learn all the tricks you can while you're young."

"This is the 'pet project' I was telling you about."

"We've trained him to 'go on command.' Currently, the command is, 'Ralph-Grab the Dog Before He Goes On The Carpet!'"

'So Ben, how do you feel about helping Ed break in his pup?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Pick me!"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Love a Mutt

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Bathing the dog

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Dog lover

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

No littering...

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Canine Scentipede

"She wishes to range free!"

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Not a bad list kiddo, but I know them all! I've told you it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks..."

Pavlov's Puppy

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'