Puppy Play Planner Gifts

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Dogs

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Babies

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

A Family Out For A Walk In The Country.

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"Oh, wow! Charlie is really hungry, huh, mom?"

It's time to treat your dog to Le Bon Chien.

"Yes, he’s very excited to meet your Fifi."

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

"I borrowed it from my neighbor, he's a big tennis guy."

"They know me here."

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

Family looking to buy a dog.

"I don't recognize the face. Mind if I sniff you?"

'Outside, they let me off the leash only to fetch the paper. It's sort of a work-release program.'

What the hell do they mean, that's a hundred and twelve to you and me.