Pup Preacher Gifts

Dogma

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Night-time halo

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Thou Shalt Not!

Dogma

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"That's the preacher's dog."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."