Pup Nutritionist Pillows

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

Four Star Meal

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

"Yes, they've hired a professional dog-walker! Frankly, I would have preferred a dog-runner or at least a ball or stick thrower..."

The Catkins Diet

'Actually, I kind of like peas, but if I eat them, what will mom think of next?'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"You might consider eliminating some of the roadkill from your diet."

'Sometimes I think I spoil this dog'

"I want scary costumes of a salt shaker and a blob of fat...I'm the school nutritionist."

Dog Food Groups

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I dunno... I've lost my confidence, Doc. Some days I feel like I'm only a borderline Collie...'

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

A Dog's Grave.