Pet Nutritionist Humorist Pillows

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

Cats at private view

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Clown walks balloon dog

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"