Puns And Wordplay Lovers Pillows

'Remember son...when life throws you a lemon, make lemonade.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Lesser known greek gods,

Gay Times...

The Pink Bantha

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

A Club Sandwitch.

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"He just said his first word!"

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Dog in casino.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Tequila Mockingbird

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Shell Fire

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Hair spray"

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

"Neversource"

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

Green Trash

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'So who's smoking?'

"I have never ever heard Dante rhymed quite like that with ricochet before. Bravo Professor Firenze, you have moved our hearts!"

'So, how was flight school?'