Puns Gifts

The Sun Comes Out

'Someday I'm going to quite this dam job.'

Cows sign 'Thank you for not tipping."

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah, I've been in rehub."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Sockeye Salmon.

Out of tuna

"Oh honey, I'm homo!"

Pumpkin Spice Girls

"I've got to go to the hospital next week and have my ghoul-stones removed..."

Mine Host.

'I want a second opinion.'

'What's with the beer?'

"Yes, sir, we do specialise in lisp treatment..."

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

'Have you had a lot of experience as a web designer?'

'Let's get outta here. This place is nothin' but treble.'

Devil on trial - "We find the defendant guilty of being in the details."

"Sometimes it's easier if you break the work up into little chunks."

"So, you're telling me that my assets have been frozen?"

"Oh no, Daisy's committing herbicide!"

'What's the plural of baby?'

'This is a very unforgiving golf course.'

'Okay. . . five more! Spring forward! Fall back.'

Potatoes.

'This is one sick dog.'

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

'Who invented arithmetic?' 'Henry the 1/8.'

"I don't think much of their defence."

'I just try to focus on the positive side of things.'

Time wounds all heels.

Drink going for 'Fizzyotherapy'.