Punny Peeps Pillows

"Not only have my eyes glazed over – they have turned completely into cinnamon rolls."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Happy Hog - Manet

Dear Dairy

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

Debug

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

'No, I don't do much flying. I'm just here for the peanuts!'

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

Noise Pollution

Blake's Sealant.

One Winter Day In Old Moscow...

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"I got an order of boneless ribs, an order of jumbo shrimp, and an order of hot chili with three ice waters. What is this, the oxymoron table?"

Jay Walking

Wheelburrows.

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

"I'd like to let you go, Willy, but this is your third offense."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

Weight and Fortune.

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

"I propose we put all our eggs in one basket."

When it rains, rob climbs the walls

'That book about brushing your cat's teeth...you should move it to the humor section.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but you have a tentative offer from Burma-Shave.

No, Ernie --- Female chipmunks aren't called chip-nuns.