Punk Aficionado T-Shirts

"This is my son. I'm grooming him to take over from me."

'Let me get this straight. You actually paid to have it done?'

Navel Keychain.

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

"I'm just waiting to become fashionable again"

'It's okay - I'm a PUNK monk.'

'What are you looking at? Didn't you do anything outrageous when when you were my age?'

Buttons on air conditioning that read 'cool', 'cooler' and 'totally cool'.

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

Big man scared at the dentist's.

Sid & Nancy & Scott

'Sorry, son. If you want to work here you've got to look clean and respectable.'

Emo

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

'Why wasn't I adopted by a normal, middle-class family in the suburbs?'

"That's the trouble with old people - they've got no respect."

'...but this is what I wore for the 1977 Jubilee.'

'He's been dressing this way ever since he saw Johnny Rotten on that celebrity programme.'

Punks get old.

Complete Metamorphosis

"Showoff" - Bald man envies punk.

'Surely we can settle this like Civilized People!'

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

'Sorry, I'm not disturbing you, am I?' (Man has tattoos, piercings, Satan on forehead)

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

Punkins

"Nice haircut."

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

"Which one's mine?"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'Punk Rock?'

Library Computer Center: Cybrarian

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"