Punishment Planter Pillows

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Award Winning Gardener

Extreme Sisyphus

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"No Littering" sign in space.

The vegan hunter

Silencing the baby

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

Dun Decking

Of course nothing grew --- You just put drumsticks in the ground! I was trying to grow beets.

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Avoid Constant Borrowing

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

I Do Not have OCD

"Trees take years to grow son, so planting trees is "paying forward" towards future beaver generations..."

'We're hoping it's a perennial.'

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

We are really environmentally friendly. We color everything green.