Pundit Pillows

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

Former Pundit. Will Opine for Food.

"Those are the headlines, and we'll be back in a moment to blow them out of proportion."

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

'Now for a commentary on the 'lunatic fringe', let's hear from a certified lunatic...'

Football Commentator.

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

Reporters growing on a tree.

"I feel a term in congress generating headlines is a good practice for a future as a highly paid media provocateur."

"The preceding has been an editorial and the views of that crackpot do not necessarily reflect those of this station!"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

'I want to be a weatherman or a pundit. They never have to be right all the time.'

'Harold decided his time with the Norman Mailer reading group was at an end.'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

'I've decided to study real hard so I can grow up and become a pundit.'

'If you turn up the brightness control the picture gets sharper but the people you are watching do not get any brighter.'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

The Pundit Show - 'I have nothing to say about the writer's strike because my writers are on strike.'

'These days, professor, it's 'TV Punditry or Perish'.'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Tucker Carlson

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"Welcome, Bob. You just heard the latest development in our top story. I'd like to get your knee-jerk reaction to it."

Sick of the 'Fiscal Cliff'? Cartoonists, politicos and pundits need a new metaphor!!

'This is America, son. If you work hard enough and appear to be knowledgeable, you too can be a pundit.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out James Carville?'

Mick McCarthy

"Get a hold of my campaign team and tell them to Think outside the Tank."

"Fortunately, we live in a country where we have a choice."

"The What It All Comes Down To Show"

"I'm a TALKING HEAD for a major news agency!"

"Wow, that ended with the last play of the game!"

"There you go. . . And lose the goatee. You look ridiculous."

Jimmy Hill