Pundit Poet Pillows

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

CEO du Jour

Where does it all end up?

Eldrow

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Obama Healthcare.

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Budget

Greek Crisis

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Statue of Security

Tied up in red tape.

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

Power/Expenditures

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

The Adventures of Tom Friedman, Boy Reporter