Pun Pundit Pillows

Scrabble player spells out aaaaaahh as he has heart attack.

'The Secret is to write what you know.'

Literary Dogs.

"Yeah, yeah, enough about that Covid and Ukraine stuff. Here's what's REALLY important; the proper use of 'gone' and 'went'."

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

Irish chickens!

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"On this bill for my transplant you've misspelled hair."

"Naw, that's not a Palomino. . . that's a palindrome horse!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Where does it all end up?

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Obama Healthcare.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."