Pundit Appreciator Gifts

Always the smartest guy in the room.

"Where's your breathing mask, young man?"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'Oh Hi!'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

"Steamed vegetables."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

The Greek Trampoline

"Amateurs."