Punctured Pedaler Gifts

'It must have been the fork in the road.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Cycling with a harp case

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

"YOU pass him on the left."

A Semicolon.

Musical Bicycle.

A Tongue Stud.

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

Tour de Pothole.

Lawyer Xing

"We can patch 'em, but you'd have to settle for half-decent intentions."

"Of course, 'today seems to be dragging more than usual'. You came in on time, for once!"

The Bikings

Vicar with a cross on his cycle helmet

"No, I took my coffee break before coming in."

'Sorry I'm late for my interview. There was a leaf on my driveway.'

? F E. Give me a big smile and wave to the camera. Ah, you're posing a question.

"Where did you get that awesome distortion pedal, dude?"

Cow wrestling with ring through nose.

My friend will stay here so we'll know where the treasure is buried. Ah, "X" marks the spot. Why is the period wearing a cape? He thinks he's a superhero because he can single-handedly stop a sentence. Call me a "powerpoint"!

A resume for tattoo artists.

'You're fired Jenkins! You're just not getting in early enough!'

Fakir Repairs

"I though Adams was supposed to be a jogger? He's late for work and he isn't jogging!"

Bicycle race.

-Sorry, I was ill yesterday -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the 5th leg!

Man kicking an exclamation mark.

When not racing, most elite cyclists walk around in a peloton to cut down on wind resistance.

'You got a wine that will go well with bullshit?'

"I'm fine-tuning my time management skills, so I might not be showing up anymore."

Bicycle

Car on back.