Puncture Fixer T-Shirts

Golf Cart Punctures

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

Lazy plumber.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"Kick the machine"

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

"I had to improvise"

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

Acupuncture Treatment Room. My acupuncturist used placebos on me today.

"Earl is stuck on that note again. Give him a good kick."

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

Stitches.

Despite being dumped by his girlfriend on Christmas Eve, Norman still found a way to pull the crackers despite her absence.

Fakir Repairs

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

Man bangs on a malfunctioning bathroom mirror to get his reflection to show.