Punctuality Champion T-Shirts

'Late again after lunch, huh?'

Late BroomStick

"You keep impeccable time."

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

'Am I the first one here?'

Time Clock

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

'As usual, I'm right on time. My internal alarm clock always wakes me just as theses meetings are over.'

Deadlines, Inc.

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

'Sir, that efficiency expert you hired called -- he said he'll be five hours late.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"You're late."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

"So we`re going out and you haven`t even bothered to change?"

"How about fashionably never?"

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

"Help! Set me free!"

Big Ben

"You're so consistently late that you're pretty much doing my job and docking your own hours."

Internal Clocks.

Clock in, Clock out.

If you should be in this meeting, but are reading this instead - you're fired!

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Late for a date,,,

"Sorry I'm late for the breakfast meeting."

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

"Is that a new watch?"

"Yea yea, I'm right around the corner!"