Punchline Appreciator Gifts

Comedians: Before and after political corectness.

'Both of us must have got the date wrong...'

'You had a lunch date, but I cancelled it because it was your turn to pay.'

'Just tell the joke - forget the mission statement about your commitment to humour.'

'Ok Mr Cook jump! It's the perfect hangover cure.'

'But your advert said, Fantastic view.' - 'She's out right now.'

'After the fight I was given a cup... To keep my teeth in.'

Boxer losing to punchbag.

'Don't get up until nine.' - 'What time is it now?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've been wonderful, you've been the audience - goodnight!"

Snowprov

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'DO you know what time we start here?'

"Smite him, my son!"

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

Chicken: the one-man show

'That was Mr.Osgood, sir. He's just made his final payment.'

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

Comedy Rule

'Wow...This could be the beginning of a fantastic career...A sales coach is waiting for you. He wants to hire you as a bad example.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

"...And I don't want any resentments just because someone hits below the belt..."

"Your early stuff was funnier."

'Wow, I hate to be disturbed when I'm enjoying a good brew, too.'

"Please tell the king I've remembered the punchline."