Punching Perfectionist Gifts

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'OK, so he's got a big right hand!'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Surreal ale

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Just a drop."

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

"It's called being preemptive."

Quality Contorl.

Ventriloquist's fete

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

"Quit moving"

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

Attorney Punching Bag

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

I would love to learn Karate, but Dad insists I do Boxing instead: He says I have natural disposition for it...

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

Ask me about my uppercut.

Pitching Tryouts. Never mind the fastball. They grade on a curve here.