Pun-tastic Readers Pillows

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

Pinocchio Vs. Dracula

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

SPOONING CACTI

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

The Mummy's Purse...

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.