Pun-loving Pal Gifts

'You want to see a lawyer? No problem — he's a lawyer.'

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

'If you commit a crime when you're slow as molasses & leave a trail of slime you're going to do some time.'

Do it yourself books.

Dog in casino.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"Think about the honey."

'And in conclusion...'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

Cat punishement.

'Yes, I'm settling out of court.'

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Avast - it's Mobius Dick, the one-sided whale."

'I was hurt in a boating accident. I tripped over a rack of oars at a sporting goods store.'

"You set 'em up with one of these babies, and they're good for the night."

"We plead insanity, You Honor, due to a severe Multiple Personality Disorder."

'You can ruin the present worrying about how the past will affect the future.'

Crime A-L

"Yep, that's a new sign: I've just finished my law-degree..."

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand

'The club wants to know if we would like to go square dancing tonight?'

"The only person who is going to be able to make any sense of this trial is the sketch artist."

Hamster Cello tape.

'Dolores, cancel Mr. Rubin's transplant surgery. He's had a change of heart about his change of heart.'

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'Do you think he'll win the second race?' - 'Yes, because he's running in the first race.'

'UH-OH,looks like somebody's in for a floggin'! They've brought out the Cat-o'-nine-tails!'

Sheep drinking 'Lamb Rusco' wine.

50 shades of brown.