Pumpkin Carving Fan Pillows

"Dad said that he's going to carve the pumpkin this year!"

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Tree house.

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

Marcel Marceau's parrot

"I'm a monster."

Classic Emojis for sale.

"It was a botched surgery."

"Are you outta your gourd?!!"

D.C. Halloween

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

Halloween sculptor

"Make it look like an accident"

Alberto Giacometti.

"OK, I've emptied my mind and cleared my head...what now?"

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

"You're lucky you don't get carved this time of year."

"Your candle has gone out."

"I had to get braces."

"It's a very simple procedure. We slice off the top of your head and scoop out your innards with a spoon."

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."

"When's the last time you flossed?"

Halloween dentist.

"How did getting carved make you feel?"